Behind Closed Doors: The Invisible Costs of Care for Women

Research from CIPD shows that nearly half of the 3 million working carers in England and Wales struggle to balance work and care, with a quarter considering leaving their jobs. As more women are delaying motherhood, “sandwich carers” juggling childcare, elder care, and work are growing in number with many experiencing mental ill-health. Figures show that 51% of sandwich carers are aged 45–64 – also the menopause red zone.

A Personal Story
When my dad passed away in 2022, I became my mum’s carer while raising my 4-year-old son. Living 160 miles apart, I frequently had to choose who to be with – and I couldn’t choose my child.

Things came to a head before Christmas when my mum had a fall. She lay in the driveway until discovered by a passing window cleaner and was taken to A&E by a neighbour. She was discharged after eight hours, with no consideration of whether she could manage at home—she couldn’t.

Despite an emergency care package, the burden of overnight care fell on my niece, who was called 5–6 times a night. When I arrived, the situation was unsustainable. Night-time care for my mum was quoted at £1,700 a week—contrast this with the £81.90 carers’ allowance for family carers.

This financial inequity is a bitter pill to swallow. Family carers support out of love, but that love comes at a high price: sleepless nights, lost income, and emotional burnout.

The Cost of Caring
Balancing work and care often forces women to reduce their hours or leave work altogether. A typical day might look like this:

Childcare: 4–5 hours
Work: 7.5 hours
Sleep: 7 hours
Commuting: 2 hours

It leaves little room for elder care, especially as most support services operate during office hours. Women already shoulder the bulk of unpaid domestic work, so it’s no surprise they’re 7x more likely than men to leave work entirely due to caregiving responsibilities.

What can employers do?
Employers can ease this burden by fostering a culture of understanding and flexibility. Here are key steps they can take:

Awareness: Gather data on carers and use it to advocate for policy changes, learning from your teams and amplifying their voices.
Training: Train managers to understand carers’ unique challenges and set up systems that allow carers to notify them of caring demands.
Leave: Offer paid carers’ leave to prevent financial strain and demonstrate that the workplace values both its employees and their caregiving responsibilities.

The UK care system relies heavily on the unpaid efforts of family members, predominantly women. We need systemic reforms that value carers’ contributions, both at home and in the workplace.

Supporting carers is key to fostering a thriving workforce. Businesses can boost retention, morale, and productivity by developing strategies that recognise the impact of caring responsibilities and address carers’ needs.

1-1 coaching can also help women to find balance and effectively advocate for themselves, striking a balance that allows them to meet their responsibilities whilst still smashing it at work.

If you’re ready to create a culture of care and empowerment, get in touch to find out how we can support.

Image by Sabine van Erp from Pixabay

January 13, 2025 0

Dementia in the workplace: Insight & Support

Dementia has become a central part of my life after my mum received a diagnosis last year. One of the benefits of this experience for me has been an increased awareness of the impact of dementia in the workplace and considerations as an employer.

First of all, we know that the number of people with dementia is increasing and the likelihood of having a diagnosis increases with age. Here are some useful statistics:

There are currently 900,000 people living with dementia in the UK and this is projected to rise to 1.6 million by 2040.
Up to 1.7 million people could be living with dementia in England and Wales by 2040 – over 40% more than previously forecast.
1 in 11 people over the age of 65 have dementia in the UK.
65% of the 944,000 people living with dementia in the UK are women.
1 in 3 people born in the UK today will develop dementia in their lifetime.

Plans to increase the pension age to 68 means there will be more older people in the workforce. And, if you are a charity, you might be working with an ageing group of volunteers also.

The final group to remember is the working carers who are relied upon to fill the gap in health and social care services for people with dementia.

What to remember as an employer:

Dementia is a disability – people with dementia must be treated like any other employee with a disability. That means understanding what dementia is and supporting the individual to carry on working (if that is their wish) by making reasonable adjustments.

It’s just a new way of looking at things – when a person has dementia, their brain works differently. They are less likely to cope with complexity so clear communication and direction is essential. They are also more likely to be tired so flexibility may be required.

It does not mean the individual has lost capacity – The Mental Capacity Act states that capacity should be assumed in the absence of an assessment. It is more than possible that someone with dementia still has capacity to make their own decisions.

It is a living bereavement – family members are likely to experience grief and loss even though the person is still alive. A diagnosis represents the beginning of what’s known as ‘the long goodbye’. It is a major adjustment and family members may need time to adjust.

Balancing work and care – There are 5 million working carers in the UK. Alzheimers Society estimate that there are 700,000 unpaid carers of people living with dementia. This group has to find a way to balance work and care. Ensuring they are supported in the workplace to deal with this change can make all the difference for employee retention.

From the figures provided, it is fair to expect that dementia will become more prevalent in the workplace so it is important to be aware and consider how to identify problems and create a safe and supportive environment.

If you are affected by dementia and need support, here is where to get help:

Carers UK

Alzheimer’s Society

Dementia UK

Cruse Bereavement Support (offering specialist support for those experiencing grief and loss as a result of dementia)

If you have a military connection, call the Royal British Legion

Have you been affected by dementia in the workplace? Is there useful learning you can share? Post in the comments below.

January 28, 2024 0

Barriers and benefits of Shared Parental Leave

On Monday, I will head to the office for the first time in six months as my maternity leave ends and my husband takes over at home as primary carer for our baby boy.

According to figures, take up of Shared Parental Leave (SPL) is as low as 2% and with enhanced packages mostly reserved for mothers, it’s easy to understand why. Some of the large private sector companies that really want to do their bit for gender equality, offer generous packages for Dads but for many, SPL is a luxury they just can’t afford to take up.

As someone who campaigned for parents to have the right to share their leave in whatever way they see fit, it’s only right that I would swap with my husband and let him take the strain at home while I go back to work. Financially, it makes sense for us too which is what SPL has always been about – families being able to manage their responsibilities with the main earner able to continue to work and baby being cared for by a parent regardless of which one it is.

Looking back, I remember how many people said I would change my mind both about sharing my leave and about going back full time but I haven’t and I’m ready to go back to a job I love and let father and son have their own time to bond.

As the big day approaches, I’m excited at the prospect of a full nights’ sleep and freedom to just ‘pop to the shop’. Plus, actually, I think it makes sense to have three months to recover from so many sleepless nights before we both have to adjust to a new life in which we battle to balance work and family life.

In terms of Dad’s thoughts, it’s his last day at work tomorrow and he is looking forward to having lots of quality time with his son and continuing to show him the world. He is both excited and apprehensive about having three months away from work for the same reasons as many of us mums. Some of the things he has mentioned include concerns about a reduction in wages and how we will manage, missed career opportunities and a fear of being left behind at work.

I do feel a little sad that this special time is nearly over but I’m happy that my husband will also have the opportunity to care for our child and take an active role. I’ve known all along that I can’t do it all on my own and I’m glad to have the opportunity to share the care right from the beginning.

So what stops more Dads from taking the opportunity? Many mums don’t want to cut their maternity leave short to allow Dad to take a turn and many that are happy to do that can’t afford to. It seems to me that employers should offer the same enhanced package for Shared Parental Leave as they do for Maternity Leave but until they do, the uptake will remain low.

Only yesterday, a campaign to provide access to baby changing facilities for Dads was in the news, highlighting the role of fathers in raising their children. It’s right that the world should change to recognise that children have two parents. Traditional attitudes to gender roles still linger but during my leave, I have come into contact with lots of fathers who are at home caring for their little ones and think this is something that will become more and more common in the future.

Have you taken Shared Parental Leave? How did you find it and what were the benefits for you? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

3minuteleadership.org

February 7, 2019 0