Tag: mental-health

From Fear to Freedom: Unlocking Your True Potential

What if fear of failure is the only thing standing between you and the life you actually want?

How many of us are afraid to put ourselves out there because we don’t want to fail? It’s a real dilemma – we don’t want to try something and look stupid so we can often just play it safe and stay in our lane. But progress and change require something different. It’s true that ‘outside of our comfort zone is where the magic happens’. So how can we build the courage and confidence to try?

In Amazon CEO, Andy Jassey’s top tips for success, he lists ‘don’t be afraid to fail’ as essential for invention. Inventing or re-inventing yourself is as important as anything else. Life has many chapters and we may need to invent ourselves many times. The key to pushing through a fear of failure is resilience and for me, a major part of resilience is learning.

Over the last couple of years, I have been going through my own reinvention with seismic shifts in my personal life leading to an adjustment in priorities. When this transition really hit a crisis point, I felt that my personal brand had fallen flat and I needed to really dig in to redefine my vision and goals.

It pushed me to develop my own consultancy offer and share my ideas with the world which is certainly outside of my comfort zone. There has been lots of trying new things and learning as I go. I’m very much on board with the idea that it is ‘better to ship passion than wait for perfection’ which is hard but I know that over time the approach will develop and whatever I do now, will transform gradually to become the final product.

Brené Brown puts Roosevelte’s ‘Man in the Arena’ quote at the heart of much of her work on vulnerability and I keep this close as I try new things. It basically says that the one who tries will either know the triumph of high achievement or ‘at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly’ – the idea of this makes it much easier for me to push through the barriers.

Why are we afraid to fail? For many, failure connects to their self-worth and self-esteem. It’s the nervous system warning you of a threat and we want to avoid the shame and embarrassment of not achieving our goals.

Here are 3 things we can do to overcome the fear and remove barriers to success:

  1. Build a deep sense of self-worth – really work on you and know who you are. Focus on finding stability within yourself and understanding your worth on your own terms, not based on the validation of strangers.
  2. Identify what you are afraid of – consider what it is you want to do and identify what you are afraid of. Consider how likely it is that these things will happen, how others might perceive the ‘failure’ (it is often not the way you think!) and what you can put in place to reduce the risk of things not working out.
  1. Focus on the learning – think through in advance what you can learn if it doesn’t go exactly as you planned. Manage your expectations and consider next steps so that you can build or pivot if you don’t achieve your ideal outcome.

I’ve seen many people miss out on opportunities because they feel the fear and let it dominate their actions so whatever it is you dream of, consider how you can just get started and ‘do the thing!’.

Have you let fear hold you back? Or have you been able to learn from failure? I’d love to hear your story! Drop it in the comments and let’s learn from each other.

Image: Pete Linforth from Pixabay

0

Is Happiness Your Organisation’s Untapped Superpower?

A Chief Executive once said to me ‘I don’t believe in happiness at work’ and I thought ‘that’s a shame because happiness truly can be a superpower’.

On average, people spend 3,515 days at work which is about ⅓ of your life. Imagine if those days are miserable. That creates a lot of stress and unhappiness which impacts everything in your life such as relationships with friends and family. We’ve probably all had those jobs where we have to drag ourselves into work and a day feels like a lifetime in itself.

Now, imagine creating a workplace where people are happy. Just writing about it, I can feel my vibration lift to an energy that allows success and achievement. So, what if true happiness at work is the key to long term success?

The fact is, there are two types of happiness and the first one, hedonic happiness is the type that is very short lived.It’s the kind you get from a party. Like a caffeine or sugar boost, it picks you up and throws you back down fairly quickly. It’s the dopamine hit you get from a new email or a LinkedIn notification. It’s pretty meaningless and about instant gratification. We all feel it because it’s built into modern workplace tools with a constant influx of information.

Eudaemonic happiness is the type we need to strive for in all parts of life and has very high value in the workplace. It’s the kind of happiness that lasts. It’s about satisfaction and fulfilment. It’s the happiness we feel when we are connected to our purpose. It’s the type that sustains and keeps us going.

I’m sure we have all heard the saying ‘find a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life’. What I say to my teams is ‘I appreciate that work will never be your top choice of how to spend your time when compared with family or a sunny beer garden, but how can I make it the second best place to be?’.

I want to be happy at work and enjoy my time and I want everyone else to have that too. My best workplaces have felt like home and I have been equally happy spending my time there.

The evidence is clear that happy people achieve more. They are positive, optimistic and believe in themselves and each other. Gallup’s 2024 report found that happier employees are up to 17% more productive. 

Happy employees are more likely to be engaged in their work, feel a sense of purpose and are motivated to go the extra mile.  They have better ideas, offer a better service and have high levels of resilience.

What should leaders aim for in boosting happiness at work?

  1. Connect people to purpose – when people understand their role in delivering the vision and are clear about the difference they are making, they will be more satisfied and motivated.
  2. Inspire growth – learning is key to motivation and boosts resilience. Consider how you can provide opportunities for learning and inspiration for your teams.
  3. Create a sense of belonging – that feeling of home that I described comes from a deep sense of inclusion and belonging. Cultivate that and you will be on the path to happiness at work. 

The fact of the matter is that the CEO who didn’t believe in happiness, wasn’t happy himself. It limited performance in the organisation and led to a high turnover of colleagues.  If he had embraced happiness, I think he would have been more comfortable with his own vulnerability and created an environment where colleagues could try new things, laugh in the face of failure and really appreciate success.

Imagine how your workplace could thrive if happiness became a priority. Give it a try and let us know how you get on.

Image: This_is_Engineering from Pixabay

0

Behind Closed Doors: The Invisible Costs of Care for Women

Research from CIPD shows that nearly half of the 3 million working carers in England and Wales struggle to balance work and care, with a quarter considering leaving their jobs. As more women are delaying motherhood, “sandwich carers” juggling childcare, elder care, and work are growing in number with many experiencing mental ill-health. Figures show that 51% of sandwich carers are aged 45–64 – also the menopause red zone. 

A Personal Story
When my dad passed away in 2022, I became my mum’s carer while raising my 4-year-old son. Living 160 miles apart, I frequently had to choose who to be with – and I couldn’t choose my child.

Things came to a head before Christmas when my mum had a fall. She lay in the driveway until discovered by a passing window cleaner and was taken to A&E by a neighbour.  She was discharged after eight hours, with no consideration of whether she could manage at home—she couldn’t.

Despite an emergency care package, the burden of overnight care fell on my niece, who was called 5–6 times a night. When I arrived, the situation was unsustainable. Night-time care for my mum was quoted at £1,700 a week—contrast this with the £81.90 carers’ allowance for family carers.

This financial inequity is a bitter pill to swallow. Family carers support out of love, but that love comes at a high price: sleepless nights, lost income, and emotional burnout.

The Cost of Caring
Balancing work and care often forces women to reduce their hours or leave work altogether. A typical day might look like this:

  • Childcare: 4–5 hours
  • Work: 7.5 hours
  • Sleep: 7 hours
  • Commuting: 2 hours

It leaves little room for elder care, especially as most support services operate during office hours. Women already shoulder the bulk of unpaid domestic work, so it’s no surprise they’re 7x more likely than men to leave work entirely due to caregiving responsibilities.

What can employers do?
Employers can ease this burden by fostering a culture of understanding and flexibility. Here are key steps they can take:

  • Awareness: Gather data on carers and use it to advocate for policy changes, learning from your teams and amplifying their voices.
  • Training: Train managers to understand carers’ unique challenges and set up systems that allow carers to notify them of caring demands.
  • Leave: Offer paid carers’ leave to prevent financial strain and demonstrate that the workplace values both its employees and their caregiving responsibilities.

The UK care system relies heavily on the unpaid efforts of family members, predominantly women. We need systemic reforms that value carers’ contributions, both at home and in the workplace.


Supporting carers is key to fostering a thriving workforce. Businesses can boost retention, morale, and productivity by developing strategies that recognise the impact of caring responsibilities and address carers’ needs.

1-1 coaching can also help women to find balance and effectively advocate for themselves, striking a balance that allows them to meet their responsibilities whilst still smashing it at work. 

If you’re ready to create a culture of care and empowerment, get in touch to find out how we can support.

Image by Sabine van Erp from Pixabay

0

Power, Progress, and Patriarchy: Lessons on Culture from the US Election

When I went to bed last night, it was with a feeling of hope that I might wake up with a mixed-race woman as the leader of the free world. The idea was exciting because it sends such a powerful message to all women about leadership and culture. Alas, it was not to be. 

It reminds me of a key lesson from my course with Aberdeen University exploring organisational culture and conflict. The thing I noticed from the very first lecture was that culture is essential for inclusion. I’d say that a common mistake for organisations is to make a bold commitment to EDI, setting goals and indicators without doing the culture work required for success.

The US election result highlights the tensions in society around equality and change. What we have seen in America is a choice between masculine and feminine cultures and what we have learnt is that patriarchy is alive and well.

Watching Harris on the campaign trail, I saw an intelligent, warm, empathetic leader who could speak to all and bring unity. She came across as honest and credible, with a professionalism fitting for a world leader.

Trump on the other hand is clearly a highly controversial figure who bases his approach on the masculine values of power and status. 

Hofstede’s cultural theory suggests that in a masculine society, gender roles are distinct. The belief in this culture is that men should be assertive, tough and focused on material success. In such a society, men ’hold more positions of power, get paid more and are expected to act in a masculine manner‘.

By contrast, feminine cultures have no such divides with men and women equally concerned with quality of life. Feminine cultures tend to have loose gender roles, equal pay, female representation in most positions of power, and quality of life and relationships with people are valued over status and wealth.

Whilst individualism vs collectivism represents a separate cultural dimension, it does seem to me that this election result represents individuals concerned with self-interest which is in conflict with the more caring, nurturing feminine approach which might be more collectivist.

Culture develops from history so whatever the original model of a nation or organisation, this will inform views and beliefs. Looking more into this, the values attributed to America are justice, freedom, equality, democracy and compassion. Let’s be honest though, perception has a role to play here – some have been free and equal for longer than others!

If you listen to the powerful speech from John Legend and Common at the 2015 Oscar award ceremony, you will hear them speak passionately about the continued struggle for justice in America and around the world (listen from 2.28)

So for many today, the election result will seem like an historic day for equality and social justice in a very damaging way. For all those campaigners and activists feeling tired and drained today, it’s a night for pizza and pyjamas. Tomorrow, the work continues. Here is a gift to inspire us all and bring courage and strength: ‘Still I Rise’ by Maya Angelou (1987, Live performance)

Does this resonate with you or do you have a different perspective? Whatever your views, feel free to share in the comments below.

0

Dementia in the workplace: Insight & Support

Dementia has become a central part of my life after my mum received a diagnosis last year. One of the benefits of this experience for me has been an increased awareness of the impact of dementia in the workplace and considerations as an employer.

First of all, we know that the number of people with dementia is increasing and the likelihood of having a diagnosis increases with age. Here are some useful statistics:

Plans to increase the pension age to 68 means there will be more older people in the workforce. And, if you are a charity, you might be working with an ageing group of volunteers also.

The final group to remember is the working carers who are relied upon to fill the gap in health and social care services for people with dementia.

What to remember as an employer:

Dementia is a disability – people with dementia must be treated like any other employee with a disability. That means understanding what dementia is and supporting the individual to carry on working (if that is their wish) by making reasonable adjustments. 

It’s just a new way of looking at things – when a person has dementia, their brain works differently. They are less likely to cope with complexity so clear communication and direction is essential. They are also more likely to be tired so flexibility may be required.

It does not mean the individual has lost capacity – The Mental Capacity Act states that capacity should be assumed in the absence of an assessment. It is more than possible that someone with dementia still has capacity to make their own decisions.

It is a living bereavement – family members are likely to experience grief and loss even though the person is still alive. A diagnosis represents the beginning of what’s known as ‘the long goodbye’. It is a major adjustment and family members may need time to adjust.

Balancing work and care – There are 5 million working carers in the UK. Alzheimers Society estimate that there are 700,000 unpaid carers of people living with dementia. This group has to find a way to balance work and care. Ensuring they are supported in the workplace to deal with this change can make all the difference for employee retention.

From the figures provided, it is fair to expect that dementia will become more prevalent in the workplace so it is important to be aware and consider how to identify problems and create a safe and supportive environment.

If you are affected by dementia and need support, here is where to get help:

Carers UK

Alzheimer’s Society  

Dementia UK

Cruse Bereavement Support (offering specialist support for those experiencing grief and loss as a result of dementia)

If you have a military connection, call the Royal British Legion

Have you been affected by dementia in the workplace? Is there useful learning you can share? Post in the comments below. 

0

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑